I Need Bangs

I listened to spunky beatnik punk music today. I am obsessed with all things Miss Li and the Barbarellas lately. I just decided I need bangs. Bangs, short red nails, and massive eyeliner. I miss eyeliner. Its been one of the hardest things to go without since this whole eye debacle. Eyeliner and sunglasses that fit my ginormous noggin. Doctors tend to leave out little things when prescribing prednisone like, "this will cause your head to become so enlarged that it will cause your hair to never fall correctly again" or "your cute cat eye sunglasses with Rhine stones will squeeze your head until unsightly dents form." I think I will discuss this on my next appointment.

Good News!!!! My next appointment is in 6 months. I am being weaned off of my meds (I hope my head gets back to normal). After 9 1/2 years of this, I am finally going to be done.

But.....

I realized today that I still have a long way to go. This afternoon I attempted to go to the grocery store and buy diapers. First I knocked a jar of baby food off the shelf. I ran to the nearest employee to let them know about the broken glass. The youngster (who was at least a foot taller than me) smiled and told me it was OK. It wasn't for me. Next, I rammed into a man walking innocently in my direction on my left side. I was carrying a hand held basket and knocked the wind out of him. I felt really bad. I didn't even know I hit him until he grunted. I apologized and told him about missing an eye. He was really nice about the whole thing.

I got back into the car with my waiting husband and sleeping baby. I almost cried (actually, I did a little). I still want to cry.

What am I going to do about driving? How am I going to function? I feel really bad (again). Just when I thought everything was going to be OK, I got punched in the gut. I need to be distracted.

I have decided to begin a new stitching project. Its my distraction. Stitching is one of those hobbies that make my mind slow down. No random thoughts. I upload a book into my Ipod (currently trying to finish Pride and Prejudice so I can start Pride and Prejudice with Zombies), start counting stitches and don't think about my lack of eyeliner. I am stoked about the Zombies. Its silly, but I have to remember to read things that make me smile. It makes me appreciate great literature. I am also reading Murder Most Frothy by Cleo Coyle for the second time. Its a fun little read that makes me want coffee. She has a series that include instructions on how to make her goodies. I highly recommend them especially if you love coffee.

Well, that is all for today. I feel better. Cupcake dreams to all.